Living.

Growth

Pain

Patience

The hot air finding its way into my lungs making me thirsty- Harmattan

The laughter from my family as I give them the gist- Joy

The sound of the Keke maruwa speeding past me

The lingering smell of Bole, fish, and sauce as I pass the Vendor as she closes shop - Craving

Christmas may not be the same as it was when I was younger, but trust me there is no place like my city - Nostalgic

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The year is filled with memories, all kinds of memories. Regardless, I am thankful for the journey, thankful for the experiences, thankful for the friends and family I have.

2019 has felt like 3 years, but as it slowly comes to an end and I am forced to reflect at how far I (we) have come.

One of my greatest lessons for the year is that it's never too late to get better. Especially when you REALIZE your worth and awaken to the fact that you deserve better. Normally I like to handle things myself, but there was this piece of my life that I had to struggle with for a few years, in the long run, it left me emotionally numb to any 'partner/other' (Just like I silently wished for those nights when I couldn't take it anymore). This year I had to relinquish control- which was very very hard for me to do because I honestly hate feeling like I'm vulnerable.

At some point in my life, control was the only thing I was worried about, the fear of losing control and looking weak was not to be tolerated. Realizing that I cannot control every aspect of my life (I) Got me closer to God and (II) made me stronger. When I started seeing a professional it was weird at first, but after 7 sessions with an average of 30 minutes, I began to look at things differently and began to become very self-aware.

Conclusion- It gave me new insights, new perspectives on things I thought I knew. Handling somethings got a whole lot easier.

I WASNT GOING TO LET MYSELF FALL INTO THAT TRAP!

Regardless, 2019 was a year!!!!!!

I met and surpassed most of my goals. I also didn't even start some of them.

I am tempted to ask, what did you gain this year? What was your greatest lose?

One thing I plan of doing from next year is really documenting my journey as a person. Not just my goals and my dreams, but my disappointments, the times I felt like giving up, and the things I fear I might never get. Often times we forget that the obstacles might lead to better destinations. Documenting every lose and win is a habit I hope to adopt in 2020. Personally, those good times, the hard times, the random times- they prepare you for the future.

2019 taught me strength and the determination I need to enter 2020

2020- for the most part, I will be winging it but I have a few goals I hope to execute with precision.

I might be talking about them in the next post😊😁.